Buried Life
by Jinx
Summary: A Max/? Romance. Zack aka Adam story. Alec and Logan angst.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, blah blah blah.

Authors Note: Got a little tired of all the angst in Dark Terror so I thought I would start some different angst with this story. This is going to be pretty dark I think, lots of issues coming up etc. If you want more, just review. Enjoy. 

****

BURIED LIFE.

Chapter 1 - Nightmares

"No!" The short cry echoed through the small room at the back of the old farmhouse. Adam jerked into a sitting position, waking from his nightmare violently. His breath was coming in short gasps as he tried to calm himself from the panic that swarmed over him, suffocating with fear and an unexplainable sense of danger. His hand trembling, Adam wiped his hand over his sweat soaked forehead and leaned forward to rest his face in his broad strong palms for a few seconds. His heart rate slowed and he felt his breathing even out as his conscious mind calmed the nameless fears his unconscious mind had dealt him once more.

These nightmares came more and more frequently now. When Adam had first returned to Buddy and Mary's farm after the accident he had remembered nothing. The doctors had told him that he probably never would and yet… Images came to him that he didn't recognise, names filtered through his brain that he didn't know, sequences of numbers plagued him with their meaninglessness. And that face. That face haunted him. A woman with dark eyes and the most beautiful face he had ever seen. Why did she haunt him?

Adam shoved his blanket aside and walked silently across his room to the small en suite bathroom. It was dark but he didn't bother with the light switch, he didn't need it. So many small things were just **off** about him and Adam didn't know why. He was different, stronger, faster, eidetic memory, so many small things that told him he didn't belong here.

Adam turned on the taps of the small ceramic sink and splashed some cold water over his face. He had only seen that woman one time, for a few minutes. At the hospital she had been sitting there in the waiting room. He could have sworn to himself, when she had raised her eyes to meet his, that he knew her. He had felt it deep in his gut, that girl was someone who belonged with him. But she had denied him, shrugged and claimed ignorance of who he was. And then she turned her eyes from him and whatever thread had sparked in his memory faded with the loss of sight of those large brown orbs.

Now she came to him in dreams, nightmare he couldn't remember no matter how hard he tried. Every time he saw a woman with long dark hair in the streets, in the supermarket, his heart felt like it hitched, he would hold his breath until she turned and it was never her, never who it should be.

Adam raised his head to look at his reflection in the small mirror in front of him. "Who are you?" He whispered, unsure if he was speaking to himself or the ghost of the girl in his head. Sometimes his name was said and Adam didn't respond, it didn't feel like his name. Surely someone should feel some affinity for their name, even if they didn't like it. But Adam felt nothing for his name, it didn't feel like his. Adam's fingers raised of their own accord and brushed over the skin of the left side of his face. It tingled and he increased the pressure. It didn't feel right, something wasn't right. Adam closed his eyes and opened them again, for some reason he expected the image in the mirror to change. The colour silver flashed through his mind and he inhaled sharply. Then it was gone. 

Frustration blew out of nowhere and his fist shattered down on the mirror breaking it into pieces. To Adam's shock his hand had not only broken the mirror but had crushed into the concrete behind it. Adam drew back his hand slowly and stared at the bleeding fist. It hurt but the pain was distant, less than it should have been. A part of Adam's mind recognised the sensation, recognised that he was used to pain and knew how to handle worse than this.

Adam brought his hand to his mouth and tasted the blood that covered his skin. The copper metallic taste filled his mouth and Adam closed his eyes at the familiarity of the flavour. _Blood, blood, blood, my blood, their blood, ours…_ _We're the same._ Adam's eyes that had drifted closed shot open at the sudden thought. _We're the same? Who? Who is "we"? My family, do I have family?_ Adam fought down the uprising panic and anger that rose in his chest. 

__

Did they lie to me?! Buddy and Mary had told him he had no family. An only child who was orphaned during the riots after the pulse hit. Adam shook his head. "No!" He didn't even realise he was speaking aloud. "No. There are others, others like me." The wonderment hit him a moment later. "I have brothers and sisters…" Thoughts drifted back to the dark haired woman. _Is she one of them? Is she my sister? _

"No." Adam refused to entertain the thought that the woman he had been dreaming about was his sister and yet he couldn't shake the feeling that had settled in the pit of his stomach. "I need answers, I cant do this anymore." Adam walked over to the window and stared out at the slowly lightening skyline.

He sat for hours waiting for the sun to rise, so that he could confront Buddy and Mary for the truth. They had been good to him, he couldn't pretend otherwise. They had been patient, teaching him how to use the farming equipment, all the things he had supposedly forgotten after the accident. They had been supportive about his memory loss and had taken care of him. Adam couldn't forget that, but he needed the truth. If they had lied to him…

Adam listened as the farm slowly came awake and he walked down to the kitchen. Mary was already up and was bustling around making a good fried breakfast. On farms a large breakfast was essential for the hard manual labour that was required. Adam entered the room silently and unnoticed. He had discovered he had this ability a while ago. No one would realise that he was there unless he was either directly in his sight or wanted to be noticed.

Mary turned to put a plate of bacon and eggs on the table and started in surprise as she saw Adam standing in front of her. "Oh Adam!" She smiled in relief at the familiar tall man in front of her. "I wish you would stop sneaking up on me." Her smile slowly faded as she took in the serious expression on Adam's face. "Adam, what's wrong?" She took a step towards him, her hand outstretched to feel his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

Adam stepped backward and despite his fondness for the short plump motherly woman he kept his features stern. It wasn't hard. Pushing his emotions beneath the surface, it was almost second nature. It felt right. He shouldn't feel, it was dangerous. "Don't." He instructed her, slightly surprised by the authoritative note that crept into his voice. "Just don't." 

Mary's eyes widened at the stern reaction from this boy she had come to think of so affectionately. It had been a good day when Logan had contacted them and asked for this favour on behalf of Eyes Only. Give this boy a home. She had never been able to have children and so Adam had quickly won a place in her heart, he had been so lost when he had first come to them, it meant a lot to watch him regain his confidence and see him laugh and enjoy life.

"Adam? What's wrong?" She asked worriedly. "Adam?" Adam kept his jaw set and refused to let the concern in her voice get to him.

"Where's Buddy?" He asked coldly. Mary looked at him her eyes soft. 

"He's getting dressed. What's the matter Adam?" 

"I want the truth. I want to know who I am." The colour drained from Mary's face as she took in Adam's words.

"What are you talking about?" Mary said weakly suddenly unable to look Adam in the eye. Adam took this as confirmation that they knew more than they had been telling him and he felt the familiar anger come.

"Who am I?" He didn't yell but his voice increased in volume and intensity. Mary visibly flinched and went to the door.

"Buddy? Buddy come down now!" She called urgently up the stairs, aware all the time of Adam's cold blue eyes on her. The sound of feet coming down the old wooden stairs sounded quickly as Buddy rushed to his wife, sure there was some emergency happening.

"What? What's going on Mary?" He reached the kitchen, a look of worried confusion on his usually jovial face. Buddy saw Adam standing there with that expression and his face and Logan's words came back to him.

__

"He's been through a lot Buddy. These people did something to his mind that made him try and hurt some people, but he's not dangerous. As long as he doesn't remember anything, he's not dangerous."

Looking at the tall intimidating young man in front of him, Buddy suddenly wasn't so confident in Logan's assessment. He liked Adam, they got on well and he was a good worker. Buddy had been happy to provide both a home and his friendship and he felt a flash of shame at the fear Adam suddenly inspired. But he had seen the mans strength, seen his ability…it raised questions that he didn't have answers to and as much as Buddy hated to admit it, it raised doubts about Adam himself.

"Adam." Buddy said the name with difficulty and irrational fury came across Adam's face. 

"That's not my name, is it! Who am I?"

Buddy swallowed hard as he realised Adam was not going to fobbed off with the half hearted lies he had told him in response to his past questions about himself.

"Did you think you could lie to me forever? Did you think that I would accept that all my dreams and nightmares, that have no relation to the past you've told me, aren't true? Who is the girl I recognised in the hospital, why do I dream of her? Who am I?" All of Adam's frustration and anger came out and Buddy backed away from the angry man.

"Mary go outside." Buddy told his wife, keeping his eye on Adam. Something akin to regret flickered in Adam's eyes but was quickly hidden. Mary hesitated looking between the two men. "Go on now." He repeated. Mary nodded and left the room.

Buddy turned to look at Adam and sighed deeply before crossing the room and sitting down at the table. "I'm sorry Adam. I only did what I thought was right, the best for everyone." Adam sank down in another chair and let his face fall into his hands. He regretted scaring these people. They had been good to him.

"I just want the truth." Adam said quietly. Buddy nodded.

"I'll tell you everything I know. I got a call about 6 months ago from a friend of mine. He said someone he knew needed a new home, a new identity." Adam looked up, his blue eyes sharp and intent on what he was being told. Buddy continued. "You were part of some sort of special military unit, a soldier, but you left years ago. They recaptured you and did some kinda mind control thing that made you snap and hurt some people."

Adam inhaled sharply in alarm as the words processed. He remembered something. He remembered throwing that dark girl against a wall. He remembered hitting her. _Oh God._ Adam thought he was going to be sick. He stood and walked over to the window, taking deep breaths of the fresh country air. _No. I wouldn't hurt her._ Adam didn't know who the girl was but he knew he loved her. _How could I hurt her?_

Buddy paused telling his story, watching warily the other mans reactions. "Did…did I kill anyone?" Adam's words came out hoarsely as he spoke though the emotions surging through him. 

"No. No you didn't kill anyone Adam." He reassured him, touched by the Adam's fear.

"That's not my name is it." Adam stated quietly. Buddy stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. 

"No. I don't know your real name. My friend thought it would be best if he didn't tell us that." Adam glared at him.

"Who is your friend and where does he live?"

Buddy hesitated. "Look I cant tell you that mate, I wish I could but I promised-" He broke off as Adam grabbed him from his chair and gave him a short shake.

"Tell me now!" Buddy placed his hands on Adam's and tried to calm him.

"You wont hurt me Adam, I know you wont." Adam shook his head violently trying to control the panic racing through him.

"You don't understand! I have to find them, I have to protect her-" Adam let go of Buddy and wiped a hand over his face. He was shocked to find the tears on his skin. He was crying?

The realisation struck him hard. He stopped the emotions, shut down his feelings, became the soldier he knew he had been. "Tell me." The demand was cold and hid a threat beneath the surface.

Buddy shuddered at the implied threat. "Logan Cale. Here's the address." Buddy scribbled down the address on a handy piece of paper and shoved it at Adam who took it silently.

Adam walked down to the front door. He paused and looked back at the man, still sitting at the table. "I'm sorry. Thank you for everything. Tell Mary…Goodbye. Goodbye and I'm sorry." That was it, he was leaving. He was going to Seattle, to Logan Cale for the answers, for her.

TBC.

A/N: Review if you would like this to be a series.


	2. Reality Check

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. See Cameron etc.

Authors Note: Not to insult anyone but I'm pretty tired of all the fluffy 'Zack gets his memory back but miraculously no longer wants to kill Logan or has feelings about Max' stories. In warning, this is not going to be that. 

****

BURIED LIFE

Chapter 2 - Reality Check

"Dammit." Logan Cale aka Eyes Only hung up the phone as he paged Max for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Where the hell is she?" Logan had been trying to get a hold of her since he had been woken up 4 hours earlier by his friend Buddy. The same friend who had taken in Max's unstable and potentially dangerous, amnesiac brother. Logan looked anxiously at his watch. He wasn't sure what to do, leave? Stay and hope that Zack wouldn't connect him with Eyes Only and trigger whatever Manticore had done to him?

Logan stood and started pacing the room, grateful for the exoskeleton that at least gave him a chance of survival if Zack lost it again. He hesitated, looking at the skylight where Zack had last made his entrance to the penthouse apartment. Coming to a quick decision Logan went back to his desk and pulled out his gun. Loading it quickly Logan put it into the hidden holster at the small of his back. He had been putting off taking it, hating guns on principle, Logan had hoped that Max would come and remove the need to make the decision. If he had to Logan would use the gun against Zack. _If I get the chance._ Logan ruefully acknowledged the odds of winning any kind of fight with Zack. He also knew that if he did kill Zack, Max may never forgive him, even if he had to save his own life.

Logan shook his head to himself and sat once more. Thoughts of Max inevitably turned to the virus that had spun his and Max's relationship into a terrible limbo of uncertainty. He loved her. She knew that, he had told her the night of the temporary cure that had been for nothing. Yet she had never said the words to him. He knew she had suffered a terrible upbringing and that love had played no part in her life but still it hurt to know she didn't trust him enough to let her walls fall enough to let him know his feelings were reciprocated.

Finally his phone rang, startling Logan from his thoughts. Logan grabbed the receiver. "Max." He said breathless with relief. There was a short pause on the other end of the line and then a brief familiar laugh.

"Sorry Lover boy, you've got Alec here. Max left her pager at work and I found it. Thought I'd better check why you've been blowing it up for the last few hours." Logan closed his eyes in sheer frustration.

"Look find Max and get her over here now." The urgency in Logan's tone was unmistakable and Alec's sardonic voice suddenly became serious.

"What is it, is it White? Is Max in danger?" The concern was there despite Alec's best efforts to conceal it. Logan removed his thin wire glasses and rubbed a hand over his eyes, refusing to complicate his already complicated relationship with Max by considering how her psychotic dead brothers twin felt about her.

"Its Zack. He's on his way over here. Started to remember things, Max mostly. I don't know how he's going to be, Buddy said he was acting pretty aggressive."

There was silence on the other end of the line as Alec processed the unexpected information. "Get out of there." He finally instructed the other man. "If he's flipped again you don't stand a chance. I'll find Max and go to yours to try and intercept him." Alec hung up the phone without further conversation.

Logan put the receiver down and stood, glad to know that Max would soon be aware of the situation. Picking up his car keys he headed for the front door. Swinging it open, Logan stopped dead. Zack was standing in front of him, one hand raised as if to knock.

The two men froze, stared at each other. Logan opened his mouth to speak but Zack beat him to it. "I know you." The words weren't questioning but the infliction was. Logan exhaled slowly. It looked like the decision had just been taken out of his hands. Logan nodded and stepped back, gesturing for Zack to come in.

"Come in." Zack followed Logan into the living room. Logan carefully made sure that the study with his Eyes Only equipment was obscured from view. "Sit down Zack." Logan sat opposite the couch where Zack was. Zack's blue eyes widened.

"Zack." Zack whispered his name, awareness coming in to his expression. "That's my name, Zack." Logan nodded slowly, he'd been unaware that he'd let that slip but it was inevitable.

"Yes your names Zack." Zack's attention snapped back to Logan.

"Who are you?" Logan bit his lip and swallowed hard.

"I'm a friend Zack. We…We have someone, who we both care about deeply, in common." Logan tried to explain as best he could while still trying not to trigger the Manticore booby trap in his mind.

"The girl. With the dark hair, who is she? I know her, she's-" Zack shook his head in confusion.

Logan took a deep breath and unconsciously leaned forward. "Max. Her name is Max." Zack's eyes were bright as he placed the name in his memory. _Max…Max…Maxie…452…Oh God-X5452!_ The memories poured over Zack, engulfing him in a torrent of images. Max as child, all of them together at Manticore, Max as an adult, Max in his arms…Firelight, love in his heart, such tender emotions flowed through Zack as he recalled the way she used to lean against his body in the cold barren barracks of Manticore. How she felt, warm and soft as he held her tight against his strong chest as an adult. _I love her, Max, we were lovers…_

"I remember…Max- Manticore. We were…we're soldiers, transgenics…Max is my…" Zack's voice sounded so lost as he finished his thought silently. "Where is she? Where's Max?" Logan felt himself soften in sympathy for the man struggling to put the fractured pieces of his life back together.

"I've contacted someone. She'll be here soon." He reassured Zack. Zack looked up at Logan, his eyes wet with unshed tears.

"Before- I remember…Buddy said I hurt some people, because of Manticore." Zack swallowed hard. "Did I hurt Max?" It was almost a whisper, a plea that he hadn't. "I think I remember…I hit her…" Zack trailed off unable to continue.

Logan felt the pain in the other man voice. "You didn't hurt her badly Zack, she's okay. You were confused, it wasn't your fault." Despite the words Logan couldn't help the shiver of fear he felt as he looked at the transgenic. Zack was a ticking time bomb. Who knew what he believed his relationship with Max was. It was this that had set him off before. How would this time be different?

Zack couldn't look at Logan, he was so confused by everything that had happened. He needed to see Max, she would help him, everything would be alright once she was back in his life, in his arms.

TBC. (but only if you review!)


End file.
